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10.5.11
 Have you been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable . It opens up your chest it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside and fucking mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a suit or armor so that nothing can hurt you then there's just this one stupid person, no different from all the other stupid person wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didnt ask for it. They did something dumb like kiss you or smiled at you and then your life isn't you own anymore loves takes hostage it gets into you it eats you out and leaves you crying in darkness so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be friends' turns into a glass splinter working it's way into your fucking heart . Piercing through everything you ever believed and hoped for. It's not just imagination, it hurts . It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-into-you-and-rips-you apart pain. I hate love .
Dear Goodall, I beg you don't be so nice to me I definitely don't deserve it .