20.4.11
so there has been this human, who has been the kindest person alive to come and accompany me feed the deathly craving that I've got diagnosed with for a good week. it was so bad that i imagined every single noodle tasted like ramen. i love you so much that if you were a guy i wanted to marry you so badly and cook and clean and sleep with you every single night. haha
honestly my life is in a total shit load of mess. I'm in an utter mess of destruction and nobody gives a fuck. I'm a horrible person lest everybody around me should give themselves a pat on the back for making me feel that way. i reek of cigarettes and alcohol.-metaphor or could it be the truth? hmm haha i'm just a horrible person so just run.
and to those who;
Everyone around me is fake. I have yet to meet someone who doesn't find the need to impress or please me. i have yet to meet someone who is willing to hurt me to love me. I live for the shitty moments where one can be brutally raw with me yet be sanguine enough about the aftermath. I want to be fully submerged in honesty that it kills me. try me, please, i beg you.
im really tired of crying, i sware. and please don't tell me i need a breather for i might just slap you. :)
i definitely know what it's like to want to die. how it hurts to smile to the most bitchiest colleague at work. how you try to fit but you can't just because you're not 'them', how you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside.
and sincerely apologize for the god-most emo post here.
so if you see me along the streets of town, don't fucking pretend to ask how am i? just give me a hug. i really need it. =(
so there has been this human, who has been the kindest person alive to come and accompany me feed the deathly craving that I've got diagnosed with for a good week. it was so bad that i imagined every single noodle tasted like ramen. i love you so much that if you were a guy i wanted to marry you so badly and cook and clean and sleep with you every single night. haha
honestly my life is in a total shit load of mess. I'm in an utter mess of destruction and nobody gives a fuck. I'm a horrible person lest everybody around me should give themselves a pat on the back for making me feel that way. i reek of cigarettes and alcohol.-metaphor or could it be the truth? hmm haha i'm just a horrible person so just run.
and to those who;
Everyone around me is fake. I have yet to meet someone who doesn't find the need to impress or please me. i have yet to meet someone who is willing to hurt me to love me. I live for the shitty moments where one can be brutally raw with me yet be sanguine enough about the aftermath. I want to be fully submerged in honesty that it kills me. try me, please, i beg you.
im really tired of crying, i sware. and please don't tell me i need a breather for i might just slap you. :)
i definitely know what it's like to want to die. how it hurts to smile to the most bitchiest colleague at work. how you try to fit but you can't just because you're not 'them', how you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside.
and sincerely apologize for the god-most emo post here.
so if you see me along the streets of town, don't fucking pretend to ask how am i? just give me a hug. i really need it. =(
