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9.9.08
 i would never think of using you as a rebound or whatever of that sort. not anymore. it would be better that i didnt say anything because people just cant help but poke fun at everything im saying. and it seems like its been a chore for you guys listening to what ive got to say. well, look on the bright side you'll have a person less in your life to bitch with. because trust me, i may sound interested in listening but the fact is im not. and please god dammit dont mention his name. im trying so hard to give myself a new beginning and all you fags are just happily ruining it for me. well, at least im doing something that makes sense for once. just keep thinking everything is alright. it has always seem that way. ill figure things out for myself though even if its like expecting rain in this drought. and hell no im not talking. ive made up my mind. i dont want to delude myself any longer. i dont want to be caught falling. i dont want to be caught in all this bullshit. ive had enough of all this. and lastly, i dont want to lose you. ill tell my feelings to lie. yes, ill put up with a deceptive outer appearance, till hope comes..